Google vs. Topeka

Google Buys the Universe for $2 Trillion

Addressing Customer Wishes for Google to Expand Into New Markets, Google Steps Up to the Plate

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. - January 1, 2008 – “The Milky Way Galaxy is our home and we intend to keep it that way,” says Google CEO Dr. Eric Schmidt. Google Founders agree, stating that the point is to start with our home galaxy before branching out into neighboring star belts. “The customer base is literally limitless.”

“At Google, we’re used to exponential growth to match our namesake, googol,” Sergey Brin said. “We went from Larry Page and I to over 15,000 employees in just eight years. Scaling up comes naturally to us along with good stewardship.”

Guiding the development of the universe played a part in the purchase as well. Caring for the universe goes hand-in-hand with the goal to save the planet Earth from environmental destruction. We can no longer depend on governments alone to do the right thing when it comes to the safety of the world. Google’s philosophy is to save it now.

According to Google.org’s energy expert, Dan Reicher, “talk about your economy of scale.” Reicher goes on to say he believes the purchase will be followed by more gargantuan efforts by Google to save the known and unknown worlds.

If we knew what else was out there, we’d try and save it as well. That’s the sentiment of the recognized “Father of the Internet,” Vinton Cerf. “It just made sense for the industry leader and the world leader in useful technology to take it to the next level—the heavens.”

If you listen to your customers and hand the project to an ambitious computer geek, things come together pretty fast. Like getting approval from federal regulators. “Once the FTC examined the parameters and benefits of the universe’s purchase, they gave it a green thumbs up,” says David Drummond, Senior VP and Google’s top lawyer.

Shona Brown states that Google didn’t have set plans to expand on such a mega level.

“But once the opportunity came up, we knew it was the right move,” says Brown, who oversees business operations for Google.

Responding to critics afraid that Google Ads will fill the heavens, Google’s VP of Global Online Sales, Sheryl Sandberg responded, “You’re not going to see ads on the Moon.”

Those interested in learning more about the Milky Way Galaxy, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milky_Way

About Google Inc.

Google's innovative search technologies connect millions of people around the globe every second of every day. Founded in 1998 by Stanford Ph.D. students Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Google is a top web property in all major and minor galaxies. Google's targeted advertising program, the largest and fastest growing ever, provides businesses of all sizes with measurable results, while enhancing the overall web experience for googlers everywhere. Google is headquartered in Silicon Valley with offices throughout the universe. For more information, visit www.google.com.

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