Saturday, December 26, 2009

2009

2009 is the year the Twin Palms closed in Pasadena. 11 years ago, I had my first unofficial "date" with my partner there. When I read a story in one of my many magazines about a couple that wanted to make Christmas extra special by finding things from their past to give, I thought of the Twin Palms because they were closing at the end of November after almost 16 years in business.

My friend, Pamela, and I went immediately to try and get a memento. The hostess, a young woman, was unsympathetic when I told her that I had my first date 11 years ago with my partner there and could I have a matchbook? They don’t have matchbooks anymore. A menu? No. A second host, a young man, was more sympathetic and disappeared in search of something to give me in the back. Pamela and I felt hopeful while listening to Sunday Jazz, but the young man returned empty handed. I’m sorry. There isn’t anything that I could get.

Dejected, I said, how about a napkin? Can you at least use the Twin Palms stamp on a cocktail napkin? He was enthusiastic and grabbed two napkins from the bar and put a faint imprint with the restaurant’s name on it. The ink was just about dried up.

It’s not what I had hoped, but it did remind me of a special night when the friend that I had known for many years stopped talking to me in the middle of the meal and kept staring at me, and I ate a huge pork chop as we fell in love.

I put the napkins in the Christmas stocking this year along with a photo of me in front of the Twin Palms sign at the entrance that Pamela snapped on her cell phone as we left with the two sad napkins.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

New Year 2009 GoOdByE

The end of a decade is infused with meaning. And, it's not just the end of the year, but the end of the past 10 YEARS we're looking at. A lot of space is being fill on the air, in print and on-line about what this last 10 years has meant. What's the best and worst of every category? What does it all mean?

It has been unique in many ways and you can see it reflected best in the arts. Terry Gross recently interviewed singer/songwriter Nellie McKay. McKay's sweet voice doesn't jive with the words of many of her songs and jazzy upbeat music. One song in particular, "Manhattan Avenue" is about her rough childhood in Harlem where pit bulls ripped the throats out of kittens and where she and her mother got mugged in their apartment. But the music is breezy and her voice light. There's a hallucinatory feeling to how Nellie is laughing and singing gaily about sad and disconcerting events. It's a disconnect that I think epidomizes the end of the lying-to-your face cynicism of the Bush years and the need to look at the tragedies of our decade, especially 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina. We need to see it but we don't want to.
I'm trying to find a way to describe the sweetness that pulls you in, the mask, that is pulled away to reveal the darkness underneath. There's a sickness there, but it's too much to take in so we cover up with flavored cough syrup.

It's what artist Kara Walker achieved brilliantly in the late '90s with her antebellum silhouettes of horrors committed to slaves depicted in the refined and delicate 18th century art form. At first glance, Walker's art looks decorative and pretty. It's intricate and appealing. Then you get closer and see that the silhouettes are of slaves being raped and young white children abusing already abused black women. Walker was on the cutting edge, but I'll consider her part of this decade because of the influence her art had and still has.

There's also the art of Takashi Murakami. His super sweet large eyed anime creatures reveal disturbing and often horrifying realities. Sometimes it's purely whimsical, but sometimes it's a dream or fantasy that turns into a nightmare. There is a digital installation at the MOCA in Japan Town/downtown LA that beautifully shows this transition. It's a chiho aoshima piece that starts with large leaves and flowers, lovely brightly colored crickets and non-threatening creatures move, grow, evolve. There are undulating alive buildings with faces and blinking lights swaying in the background. Happy commerce in the background of changing nature. Slowly, things turn dark and the cute creatures turn into severed heads of once-cute girls spiked on the same plants we admired earlier.
What should we call this? There must already be a name for it.

A phrase just popped into my head: "Is that blood?"

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Brr dyslexic

I have to say that being dyslexic is a drag sometimes. I don't know how to sell "brr" and had to stop writing a post in order to look it up on the internet. But, the good news is WE HAVE THE INTERNET and I can spend the couple of seconds it takes to look up anything that I need to spell. The drag part is that it's all the time.

What I started to write about was LA in winter. It can be 55 degrees and feel warm on one day and 55 degrees and be chilly on another. Today it's chilly. I even came back from walking my dog to change my jacket to a coat. I'm not complaining about a cold 55 degrees because it feels wonderful as long as you're wearing the proper clothes.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Tiger Woods

I hate to sound like Stephen Colbert, but I said it first. When I heard that Tiger Wood's wife and a golf club were involved the night after the "incident," I knew that she had discovered his affair(s) and went after him with a golf club and beat him silly. She has a flair for a dramatic symbol.

Clover Field

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

MAXIMUM SECURITY



The shrinking of the economy has caused car thefts in my neighborhood to spike resulting in more car alarms and even the installation of security cameras around the block. But one creative soul is trying a new tack.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Grounded



Sunday, November 1, 2009

Halloween Redux

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Feet don’t fail me now.

Elvis Mitchell’s interview with Jason Schwartzman on "The Treatment" is worth a listen. Elvis doesn’t know what to make of Jason so he just lets him ramble. The gems out of Schwartzman’s mouth include how he feels about showing up for work: “feet don’t fail me know” and describing why his character, Jonathan Ames, becomes a Craig’s List private dick as “a deliberator moment.” Priceless.


"Bored to Death" is one of the best new comedies on TV.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Shroomery




The thing about mushrooms is that when they appear above ground, it's just one tiny part of a vast organism that lives beneath the surface. In LA, it's rare to see a mushroom this large. Mostly because it's so dry that most of the year there's not enough moisture to get a mushroom going, but in the Fall when there has been even a little rain, the occasional hearty mushroom will bloom.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Pupper Paws


Come on!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Judge Judy






At 6pm every night, the television goes on and Judge Judy dispenses wisdom and rules and rules and rules for what seems like hours.

In order to avoid yet another girlfriend-loaned-money-to-their-baby-daddy-but-now-he-has-a-new-girlfriend-and-she-wants-the-money-back segments, or the older-man-who bailed-out-the-young-user-babe-who’s-looking-for-payback piece, I have tried various distractions. It can’t be anything that takes me too far away from the action to where unable to understand my partner’s comments on the cases. But I need something to keep at least half my mind away from the darker side of the human soul. Knitting makes me tense. And reading takes too much concentration. One idea that worked for a while was to draw a quick sketch of the defendants and plaintiffs. It was entertaining for about 3 notebooks worth of conflicts. Then I made up names and thoughts for the faces I’d drawn.
I’ve moved on to gentle Sudoku. It’s easy to pick up and put down so that I can say, “We’ve seen this one” and my partner responds, “I don’t care. We’re watching it again.”

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The New Yorker

There's a great feeling of satisfaction that comes from being caught up on The New Yorker.


Then a feeling of loss sinks in when you realize that you are without a New Yorker to read.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Tara's Potatoes

I hate cooking.

I'm a grazer so not cooking has suited me. Hard boiled eggs, avocados, apples, cheese, grapes, sardines, potato chips and peanut butter are staples. But, for the last several years I've attempted to cook but, unsurprisingly, those efforts have ended in self-sabotaging disasters. The timing is off and everything's cold. The simple recipes are bland and boring. And, on the rare occasion that I master a dish, I get bored to tears making it.

But, tonight I made baked potato slices that turned out great. I call it "Better than French Fries"

Here's the recipe written for true beginners:

Ingredients to serve 2 people:

3 medium sized red potatoes
olive oil
salt and pepper

Here's what you do when:
Wash the potatoes (I use a little dish soap but make sure you wash it all out)
Cut the potatoes in half, parboil for 8 minutes = put potatoes in water and bring water to a boil. Once the water boils, put on a timer for 8 minutes
Preheat the oven at 350 = turn on oven for 10 minutes before putting the potatoes in
Cut the parboiled potatoes into wedges (3 wedges per half potato)
Put the parboiled potatoes in a bowl and lightly coat with olive oil and a little salt & pepper
Place on a non greased cookie sheet with room between the potatoes so they don’t steam up and get mushy
Bake for 25 minutes to ½ an hour depending on how brown you want them (hint: you’re looking for the browning on the side of the potato sitting on the cookie sheet and NOT the side facing you
Once the potatoes are brown on one side, turn them over and cook for another 15-20 minutes
Serve the crisp and delicious slices like french fries with ketchup, mayo or mustard

Friday, October 16, 2009

Bored to Death

Laugh-out-loud funny, Bored to Death is the sharpest show since, well, another HBO show Flight of the Conchords that I can't get straight so call it Flight of the Condors but that's probably part of the joke. Back to Bored to Death. I was reading creator Jonathan Ames' blog-letter on HBO's site and it's also, not surprisingly, hilarious. There's a certain neurotic Woody Allen humor that Americans (at least coasties) are attuned to. Every thought is twisted into grotesque proportions that turns a scene between our loser hero Jonathan (Jason Schwartzman) and the superhero cartoonist Ray (Zach Galifianakis) where they make cultural references in a coffee bar into a scene about how neither gets the others reference. And doesn't everyone hear a reference and think they get the meaning but do they really? Are they hip enough to get it or do they pretend to know what the hell was just said. Ted Danson hits all the right notes as George Christopher, a publishing mogul so rich that he has two first names. George is a privileged baby and, like most uber-rich people, he pays his friends and is a bottomless pit of need and hubris. If you haven't seen it, do.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

HEAVEN

My dear friend Bee's aunt Barbara recently passed away. Bee said she thinks that since aunt Barbara believed in a heaven, that Barbara is in the heaven that she believed in.

I don't think there is a life-after-death, but I started thinking: What would my heaven be?

My heaven is Paris. I speak fluent French, smoke like crazy and wear couture that fits like on Anne Hathaway in "The Devil Wears Prada." Gorgeous three-inch heals feel like I'm walking on pillows and I have conversations with all the most interesting people throughout history and into the future so that I begin to understand everything about everything for eternity.

(Photo from google images, National Geographic Traveler, from an article Zut Alors! Paris' Car-Sharing Program, January 30, 2008. Also posted on Flickr)

Monday, September 14, 2009

THURSDAY.






It’s sinking in.

Africa, Maasai, ticks, puzzles, talk, drink, water, clouds, clear skies, Kikuyu, Venus, the Southern Cross, Bomas, Range Rovers, thistle trees, laughter, singing, Moses, guilt.

Thank you Pamela.

Thank you Africa.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

KOPIES.






The kopies are an outcropping of rocks with views of hundreds of thousands of acres of Massai country with Kilimanjaro in the distance.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

FOREST.






The ride was long and eventful. Our jeep got stuck on a root going straight up a hill. The wheels spin loudly digging us deeper into a hole as the front of the jeep inched toward the sky. Black lava gavel flies over the back of the jeep and covers us with a fine powder. We can’t stop laughing. Moses has gotten us out of bigger scrapes than this. Without assistance from the other guides who are standing and yelling instructions in Swahili to Moses, the jeep pops out of the rut and we reach the top of the hill with the valley below and Kili in the distance.

The terrain is hillier and even greener than the green pasture that is the view of Massai country from the lodge. Animals migrate here during the heat of summer. We get out to stretch our legs and for tea and soft drinks.

Sandor swings a riffle over his shoulder and says, “It’s very important to stay single file on the path through the forest and be very quiet. If you want to see any animals, you must be quiet.”

We start walking up a short, muddy hill into the dense green forest. Surrounded by tall trees that cover the sky with a thick canopy, Sandor stops short and we listen.

Someone says, “Monkeys.”

Paula spies one but no one else has the trained eye of a zoo keeper so we move on.

Small groups bunch up on the trail talking quietly.

“What part of ‘single file’ don’t you people understand,” Pamela says with a wink.

There is a large pool of water in the middle of the path with large tree roots flowing out of the ground nearby. Electric blue butterflies take off and land at the edge of the water. We gather around as the guides look at animal tracks in the mud.

When we reach the end of the trail, the sun appears and the landscape becomes familiar again. Rolling hills blanketed in tall green grass spill out before us until the bottom of Kili can be seen below the cloud cover on the horizon.

There is a universal tick check and the now familiar awe at the view.

Walking back through the forest, I have to pee and there is no holding it for the 2-hour ride back to the lodge. We try and convince Clare that peeing outside isn’t so bad, but she’s having none of it. Pamela gives me a lesson on trampling down the grass. It’s hard to coordinate squatting, holding your pants far enough in front of you to avoid wetting legs or panties or pants, all the while convincing your bladder to let go. I was never completely successful.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

WEDNESDAY.





On our way to the forest, one of the many ecosystems on the vast Maasai land, we stop for a short hike up a rocky hill to a tree-covered ravine.

Randi is nervous at the drop off, but lets Greg take her picture before moving to safer ground.

Moses points out the soap tree on our way back to the jeeps.

“We use it to wash up,” says Moses.

“What is that?” he asks me, pointing to a similar bush.

“The toothbrush tree,” I say.

“Correct,” says Moses smiling.

Friday, September 4, 2009

TUESDAY. AMBOSELI NATIONAL PARK.




Egyptian goose at a watering hole.

You must be in a covered vehicle to visit Amboseli National Park. Ol Donyo Wuas has one covered Range Rover so one group will visit every day for a week. Hilary and her pals were the first to go and reported that giraffe and elephant walk right up to the jeep. They had a wonderful lunch that Moses prepared on the top of a grassy hill overlooking the park.

Our day came and Ron, Michael, Paul, Kip and I set out for the two-hour drive to Amboseli after breakfast. We were familiar with most of the drive after visiting a town near the park a few days earlier so the trip doesn’t feel very long.

Our guide, Jonathan, informs us that we can’t get out of the jeep for any reason once we enter the park. Not even to pee. That news delights me because I hate peeing in the bush. The other rule is that you must stay on the road. No off-roading is allowed.

We stop inside the gate so Jonathan can pay. A few Maasai are ready to trade or sell. Michael buys a few bracelets. Jonathan returns and we drive into the park. Not far in, we see three small giraffe on the side of the road, their legs akimbo drinking out of a small watering hole. It was the first time that I wanted to get out of the jeep.

The land is more what I expected Africa to look like; dusty roads and flat, dry land surrounded at great distances by mountains.

There’s a herd of elephant heading our way. Jonathan stopped the jeep on the road and we wait. The elephants get closer and closer walking in single file or in pairs just like in Dumbo. They get closer but not louder. There’s barely a rustle as they pass in front of us, tusks rocking back and forth, feet padding along the ground. There is a baby surrounded by older elephants in the middle of the pack. We coo and purr over it. Several young males are trailing behind protectively. The last elephant passes silently in front of us and we drive to a palm tree grove.


We all have to pee, so Jonathan turns onto a path with a “do not enter” sign through thick trees whose palms stretch in all directions.

After a few turns we enter a clearing of neat tents with elephant skulls lining the paths between them. Jonathan parks and two men approach and welcome us. After taking care of business, we are given a tour of the Elephant Rescue camp.

It’s a 30-year-old project and each elephant in Amboseli has a name and is watched and protected by the organization. The elephant skulls are from animals that died naturally, even the tiny skulls. On one of the biggest skulls you can see the honeycomb cartilage that houses their brains. That's why the elephant’s head is actually very light. They don't have a heavy skull.



We leave the elephant preserve camp and drive around the park. Jonathan slows at a pond with reeds and stops. The boys and I are talking and comparing binoculars when Jonathan turns around and says, “Pea-pole. Hip-owe time.”

We look at the pond and a largue head with tiny ears appears above the water’s surface. Hippos.

It’s dusty and we’re getting hungry but Jonathan keeps driving around the park. We help a white mini-van stranded on the road by pulling it until the engine starts. Maybe they’re Germans. Possibly English. Their teeth are pretty bad but their clothes are kind of hip.

Once the van disappears, Jonathan turns off the road and across a bumpy patch of ground. He says it’s an elephant crossing. The mud with deep elephant tracks has hardened into ruts, making the jeep jostle and bounce so much that we have to hold on tight so we don’t fly out. I was getting annoyed and a little sick when the ground evened out and we stopped bouncing.

I said, “Jonathan, shouldn’t we have lunch?” with a whine that I couldn’t cover.

Spying a lone tree in the cracked, dry desert, Jonathan drives toward it. It is the only thing standing as far as we could see, even in the wavy marsh heat of the day. Jonathan stops under the little shade the tree provides and quickly unpacks lunch and opens a bag with cokes and ginger beer telling us the tree is called “fever tree,” a special tree that has survived the destruction of the elephants.

Jonathan puts the makings for sandwiches on the hood of the jeep. I’m opening containers with Focaccia bread and sliced ham and cheese. The guys are a short distance away taking pictures.

I walk to where Ron is standing and whisper, “Where’s my mountain picnic with tree-trunk seats and a view of the park Hilary told us about?”

From behind me, Jonathan says, “I see movement.”

I run to the jeep and hand Jonathan my binoculars. Putting the glasses to his eyes, he scans the horizon.

“Cheetah,” He says. “Pack up.”

Everyone’s in motion throwing meat and bread back into bags and drowning our drinks as we pile into the jeep. Jonathan jumps behind the wheel and we takes off across the hot desert. The tires loose traction as we drive onto a moist watering hole and pass one, two, three, four, five, six cheetah. They walk single file, hunched over looking at us drive right next to them. There’s just enough moisture on the ground to send us swerving in front of the cats.

“It’s a mother and her cubs,” says Jonathan coming to a stop a couple of feet away from the animals. They stop and look at us, panting. We don’t have good cameras but we try and get off a few shots as the cheetah family turns away and slowly bounce back the way they had come. When they reach a grassy area with cape buffalo and impala, one by one they sit down in the tall grass. We follow slowly and stop a short distance away.



“Wow,” is all any of us could manage.

The mother moves ahead of her cubs into the tallest grass in the area. The cubs watch the impala and cape buffalo. We watch them. And the mother watches everything. Unable to shake us, she stands and walks away. The cubs follow until she stops at a fallen tree, its white branches bare and bone-like against the grass.

Lunch is a distant memory.

All six cats drape themselves across the branches and turn to look at us.

Ron says, “An art director’s dream.”

Thursday, September 3, 2009

MORNING GAME DRIVE.


Clare wants to see a lion and asks Jonathan to find her one. He laughs. The lion researcher, the defeated Shamus, has given us the sad statistics on the disappearing lions of Kenya.

We drive through the open plains, the tall grass disappearing under our wheels as if we are the sole people on earth. A tiny black cloud appears in the sky.

“What’s that?” asks Clare.

“Vultures,” says Jonathan pointing.

“I want to see,” says Clare.

As we draw near, we see the birds. Their wings span 8 feet and the shadows darken the ground. When they spread the tips of their wings it looks like fat fingers are tearing at the sky. They circle a spot below.

“What is it?” Clare whispers.

Without replying, Jonathan drives closer and stops. He turns to us.

“Take out your cameras now,” he says. “Once we get closer, the vultures will take off at the same time.”

He drives forward and dozens of huge birds reluctantly leave the ground with one flap of their wings.

There seems to be nothing where the buzzards were but swirling dust. Then a reddish spinal column emerges as the air clears. The ribs are stunted along the spine and completely disappear the further away they get from the column. There’s a head.

Jonathan, Pamela and Craig jump down from the jeep. Jonathan picks up the horns of the perfect head for us to see, the bloody spinal cord hanging to the ground.

“Grants gazelle,” he says. Clare and I look away.

Pamela tells Craig they should take the head back for the skull.

“In a few days, animals and ants will pick the skull clean,” she says.

Clare and I peek through our fingers. Jonathan has a machete at Pamela’s throat. Craig takes photos and everyone laughs.



I feel sick but can’t take my eyes off of the gazelle. Jonathan holds up the head with its light brown coat and black markings. Even the horns are intact. Only the hollow eyes tell you it’s dead. That and the skin of the neck hanging loose around the spine. It looks like two animals: the body eaten to nothing but bones and the head a fresh kill.

Jonathan starts hacking at the spinal column at the base of the head with the machete.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

“Ew. That’s disgusting,” says Clare. We both stand up and turn around. There is another jeep pulling up behind us. This is the big event on the game drive today. I wave and saw my hand over my neck pointing at the activity on the ground behind me.

It seems to take a long time to cut the head away from the bones that are left of the gazelle.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Pamela takes an empty box from the back of the jeep and Jonathan places the freed head into the box.

“You can’t put that in here,” says Clare.

“Ok,” says Pamela cheerfully. “We’ll put it in their jeep” and walks to the Range Rover behind ours and puts the box under the back seat.

“That was disgusting,” says Clare as Jonathan, Pamela and Craig step into our jeep and sit down.

“Do you still want to see a lion?” Pamela asks Clare.

“Yes!” says Clare.

“Be careful what you ask for,” I say.